Ever since I was a little girl, I thought I would adopt. I would say I dreamed of adopting, but that is not the right word choice. It makes it too romantic. It wasn't. It was just something I figured I would do. Don't get me wrong, I did romanticize adoption. I am sure I still do, but what I am trying to convey is that in a very practical sense, I always thought I would adopt.
I grew up. Met Rustain. We got married. Went to school. A lot. Then, we had our first baby, a little girl. Then, our second, a little boy. And, finally another little boy. We were blessed with being able to get pregnant easily and with healthy babies. Pregnancy wasn't easy on me. As anyone who knowns me is well aware, I had hyper-emesis. In simple terms, it meant that from about two weeks pregnant on, I threw up. Pretty much all the time and everywhere. Maybe pregnancy wasn't pleasant, but my babies were healthy, and after I had them, so was I.
Our life is busy and full. We homeschool a first grader, a five year old, and a three year old (who insists on doing his schoolwork), we have a lot of family and friends we see frequently, we read, we play outside, we go to parks and the zoo and museums. We love God and love our church. I have way too many craft projects going at a time. We have a dog and two guinea pigs and want more animals.
But, there's still an unfilled spot in our family.
Last year, I asked Rustain to just pray about it, and I prayed for God either to take the desire from my heart if that was not His plan or for Him to give Rustain a strong desire to adopt. And, after about a year of praying and waiting, God answered loud and clear. He had never taken away my desire to adopt, and one night Rustain told me he felt like we should adopt someday, and my heart leapt with joy! But, it was still "someday."
Then, we moved. Rustain started a new job. We bought a house and started unpacking, and Rustain told me in the midst of boxes, packing paper, and lots of mess, "I think we should start pursuing adoption now."
So we did. We pursued it like we were running a sprint. We researched agencies, talked to anyone that would answer us, and prayed. And, in the span of about a month, we had an agency picked out, an application completed, a check written, and an email back saying our application had been approved.
We believe we have been called to this, and are trusting God to fill in the gaps, because we know we are inadequate for this. Really, just like parenting, we fall short. But, we have a God who is bigger than our failings, and we believe is leading this endeavor.